Friday, October 22, 2004

Why am I me?

Intellectually, I know that my ego simply does not exist, but since I was very young I have always wondered why I was born into this body, and not some other one. Now of course I am my body, so the question doesn't make sense, but I still want to know the answer. I think about how I am the universe viewing itself from this perticular position, and I wonder why I am not viewing it from some other person's position. Maybe this is the only position? Maybe nobody but me is conscious? I don't really believe that. There are other people living seemingly seperate lives from my own who seem to be viewing the universe from a different perspective. For me to even conceptualize another perspective from my own is nearly impossible. Obviously the way I describe this whole thing is off, because there is no "I" sitting behind each of my friends or me for that matter. If there was then there would need to be an "I" sitting behind each "I" and so on to infinity. So that obviously doesn''t even solve any problems. The only solution is that there is no "I" at all. But damnit it sure feels like I view the world from this perspective and others view it from another. Maybe I am the universe I percieve. Maybe the universe is sort of broken up into little pieces, with overlapping points of view, viewing it self, bringing those pieces into existence. Then there are other pieces being brought into existence by other observers. But the observers are essentially the pieces they observe because without them they do not exist. It still strikes me as odd, however, that any part of the universe can exist that I do not experience. As far as I am concerned they do not. And so even as others claim to be conscious, as far as I am concerned they are not, because I do not experience their consciousness. It is easy enough for me to understand an ego-less universe if "I" am the only point of view. Simply, the universe is a movie that just happens. But when other "I"s are brought into it, it becomes many movies. This is much harder to comprehend.

8 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why am I Me? My DNA.

12:27 AM  
Blogger Mime Narrator said...

But why aren't you somebody else's DNA?

12:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Who asks?

2:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i concur. entirely. or as much as is possible. if i have had so many of the same notions as you, if your thought process is so incredibly similar to mine. possibly we are the same. the same as others. only, all people are experiencing different stages on the path to self-awareness. is it the same path for everyone? or is simply the destination the same? i get the feeling. the one in the pit of my stomach. i think that somehow everyone is related. no distinctions. except what we let our mind perceive. i get the feeling. that this is a load of nonsense. hope i have not confused or bothered.

6:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why does weed tend to make us worry about this?
It sometimes feels like it unlocks whatever it is in normal states of consciousness that prevents us from realizing the truth. That it is a grand illusion. The usual meanings we give to things and events. The usual sense of time. The usual sense of self. What's the truth? I can't really remember. Something to do with a collective consciousness that is intertwined with the fabric of reality.

8:35 PM  
Blogger Mime Narrator said...

This was not written while stoned, and besides that I've been wondering about this for as long as I can remember, long before I had ever gotten into drugs or any of that stuff. It really is the basic human question. Why are we here? Not in the cliche sense, of why is there stuff in the universe, though that is a decent question, but why the fuck is anything conscious? That is the real question. Why the fuck am I conscious.

11:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yesterday, I read this summary of Daniel Dennet's "Elbow Room". Nice. Check it out.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elbow_Room
(on the illusion of consciousness and free will)

8:27 PM  
Blogger Mime Narrator said...

I am currently reading Dennett's Consciousness Explained and just bought Freedom Evolves today. He writes some interesting stuff though at times he gets a bit extreme in his denial of qualia and the like.

11:21 PM  

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